Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
