it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
