I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
