i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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