does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's blow job season.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
