All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
