I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this just has baby written all over it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
