those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
