i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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