And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
