you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
