you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize