These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
