It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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