and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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