Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I will be naked everywhere
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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