conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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