I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
