This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
