You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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