You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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