it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
