Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I need to calm my uterus...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize