I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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