that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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