My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
