you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
