She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
