So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I see more hoeing in ur future
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