oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
