Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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