The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
