I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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