Porn is love you can see.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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