i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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