My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
