yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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