gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize