this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
