"it" just moved
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
