yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
