Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
