dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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