pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
