During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're like the curious george of whores
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
