it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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