i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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