Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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