I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
