Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize