Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
