You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
