i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
