I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
