entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
